Admitting my Addiction

The  magnetic force is strong every night.

I cannot resist the pull. No matter the day, no matter the hour.

I admit it. Fully and with some shame.

I am addicted.

I plop on the couch almost without fail every night after most of the to-do list is finished and I zone out with my vice.

***

Have you ever played with magnets?  Take two magnets and put the positive and negative ends near each other and the pull is strong — the resistance is near impossible — the ends snap together and to un-do the attraction takes great effort.

Like I said:  “The magnetic force is strong every night” and I am drawn  — I am attracted and to turn away is near impossible.

I am addicted to Netflix mini series shows.

Castle, White Collar, Once Upon a Time, BBC specials like  Midwives & Doc Martin…..it is endless. One mini series concludes and I search for another.

I think, What is wrong with me!  I am a grown adult with goals and vision and purpose.

Yet I succumb to the glowing screen night after night, robbing me both of sleep and time…I look forward to the escape.

That’s what it is, isn’t it?

The escape!

We all seek it – just in different ways.  We want to escape the troubles in our lives.

And that is where addictions flourish – in the desire for escape.

It bothered me and it bothers me.  And so I began to ask myself,

Why? Why do I do this?

***

It is the story element.

I am addicted to story – a finished story.

Messy is all over my life.

Is it all over yours?

Troubles with people, troubles with finances, troubles with ailing bodies…ongoing…seemingly never ending — surprises that you don’t want..

things you cannot fix.

Life: messy and full of unfinished story lines…BINGO!

The unfinished story line drives me to desire escape!

My addiction fills the void of the unfinished – unfixed – messy stories and satisfies my desire.

I want the story finished. I want to know the ending. I want the final comfort in knowing there is an end.

Netflix mini series do that for me; they fulfill my need for the story’s end – TEMPORARILY.  I know it’s temporarily because as soon as one show’s final episode is seen, I am on to search out another series to be drawn into — that magnetic pull is so strong.

***

And so, I confess.

No fancy pictures in this post today – just words of truth…bear with me, friend – we are half way through and the best is yet to come!

And I confess I feel shame because I know I am sinking low and settling and eating crackers instead of chocolate souffle — hoarding pebbles instead of saving for the diamond — playing in mud puddles instead looking out over the ocean….

You see – there is a story that has been finished and I have been ignoring it.

The story of Redemption.

My messy has been redeemed. My life’s troubles have an ending…..and I know what it is!

Jesus Christ, my friend, my brother, my King, my Savior has bled, and died, and risen and finished the story for me – for us all.  The troubles are temporary and the troubles are part of the story being worked out – through the messy comes the glory with Jesus by my side..

The greatest story of all is before me; I need to turn my addiction toward the Author of it.  Remember, recall, retell, remind…..I need to turn toward Jesus and trust HIM for my story and rest in knowing that HE finished my story when He called me to himself and when His father adopted me as His child.  Jesus and His story includes my story and the story of all my loved ones.

It’s all in the trusting, my friend.

***

If I become addicted to anything — it must be to my LORD.

If I choose Jesus as my addiction… then, my life and my old addiction to Netflix mini series become like two opposing magnets….you know…when you try to put two opposing magnets together it is impossible to connect them – the force swerves and deflects and the two ends do not meet….they cannot meet.  And that is how it is: When I focus and stick to the Redemption story I am satisfied and replacement stories that temporarily satisfy cannot satisfy anymore – the magnetic pull is no longer strong to connect – but instead they oppose.

There it is. It is the truth.

Is there an addiction taking your eyes off the Redemption story — your story with Jesus?

Turn up the volume and listen to this….

***

Come trust alongside me, friend, in the true finished story of redemption….don’t let the messy and the troubles distract you.

We are heaven bound and nothing on earth will satisfy, nothing on earth will feel fixed, ever.

Come join me in addiction to Jesus Christ – the only ONE who satisfies eternally!

The BEST story is HIS story and our Story within it!

If you have to have a vice – let it be Jesus!

 

 

 

 

 

 

One thought on “Admitting my Addiction

  1. As always your post is very important to me. To add to it is the lovely Alan Jackson song.
    Thank you – I appreciate you…..

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