Gazing out at the snow covered swing set in my back yard
a string of thoughts
was set into motion.
Child’s play. It is all a prep.
A revving up to the heart break of parenting.
Do you remember?
The two year old struggling to get on a swing….?
Chuckling, a twitch of heart pang feels for the child who has no skill yet.
The three year old who sits and calls to you: “Push me!”
Smiling, a sympathetic heart watched as the child attempted the swing motion with uncoordinated thrusting back and forth that resulted in no momentum at all.
Now the child can push himself. And he swings with oblivious abandon.
No chuckles anymore, fear has come. We hear the thud and then the cry; he fell off the swing….clocked his brother in the crossing…and the two collided. Heart aches.
Higher and higher the swinging goes. The poles rise up out of the ground and slam down into the ground again. A warning is given. But it falls on deaf ears.
The heart hurts.
Cringing accompanies the fear now and a rehearsal recalling the quickest route to hospital is begun in the mind. And the eyes continue to watch…
He jumps off and exclaims, “Geronimo! Look at me!”
The heart skips a beat. Maybe two.
This time there is no run to the hospital. This time.
A revving up. A prep for the heart ache in the raising of our children.
My heart has swelled with feeling and sympathy. My heart has ached, and hurt, and skipped many a beat.
Then and now. Even more now.
The swing set has been replaced by a bigger play on life.
What to do?
Then I thought, Apply the lessons to me.
I am the child and my God is the Father.
Why do I pursue life, on my own, without Him?
Why do I thrust myself forward and back unproductively?
Why do I pump harder and harder without attention to my surroundings?
Why do I turn a deaf ear to the warnings of my Father?
How have I caused my Father heart ache?
Is not my Father also looking down with a heart chuckling feeling for me; Does His heart not ache, and hurt, and perhaps skip a beat as He has had to watch me stumble along in my way?
He is patient. He is compassionate. He is ever forgiving.
Mercy and Grace are poured out upon my walk with Him.
And so too should I be.
God, my Father, is a lover of hearts,
a changer of hearts.
Hearts are HIS main concern!
And so too should be my way.
So I continuously turn my heart back to Him and pray.
Forgive me LORD, for all I have done to cause your heart to ache.
LORD, grant me the gentleness of heart to offer mercy and grace to my children. May you give me your wisdom in guiding them. Help me to be patient and compassionate and forgiving.
Even when my own heart is breaking.
There is HOPE in the cleansed heart….HOPE for the changed heart…
all for the Glory of God!